Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robinson

 Robinson who has written other books about autism has a difficult start in life. He grew up feeling different and not knowing why or how to label it. He was frequently told he needed to look people in the eye. Ostracized by kids, he turned to adults who were more forgiving of his lack of social graces. He learned to love machines (e.g. trains and amplifiers) and could visualize complex equations in his head.

In spite of a high intelligence, he could not adapt to school and dropped out at 16. He was a practical joker who learned to create elaborate devices that would fool the eye. He was also spending more and more time learning the ins and outs of the music industry. 

Eventually, he created a guitar that appeared to explode on stage, which the band KISS became famous for. Several chapters in Look Me in the Eye are devoted to adventures he had while working as a sound engineer for KISS. The band paid well but sporadically. Robison eventually explored a career in the corporate world. 

Despite not having an electrical engineering degree, Robinson found working at Milton Bradley an easy fit. He could designing electronic toys as well if not better than any of the engineers with degrees. 

As good as he was at design, though, he could not hack the corporate culture:

"I was thoroughly sick of all the criticism. I was sick of life.   Literally. I had come down with asthma, and attacks were sending me to the emergency room every few months. I hated to get up and face another day at work. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to stop forcing myself to fit into something I could never be a part of A big company. A group. A team."

Robinson thought the answer is to create his own business, repairing high-end cars like Land Rovers and Rolls-Royces. While that works for awhile, it isn't completely satisifying.

A friend who was also a therapist helps him making a discovery about himself that changes his outlook on life. The chapter, "A Diagnosis at Forty" focuses on his coming to terms with his diagnosis. 

Robinson not only comes to terms with his autism, he also makes peace with his parents who were at times indifferent and abusive while he was growing up.

This is an intimate portrait of one man's journey with autism and how it affected his professional life and personal life. He writes about his son, who also has autism, in a separate book, Raising Cubby. Robison also writes about his search for experimental therapies in Switched On. 

Robison is a scholar-in-residence at the College of William and Mary. 

Book Review: Switched on by John Elder Robinson

Switched On: A Memoir of Brain Change by John Elder Robinson. 

Robinson undergoes experimental research--allowing his brain to be zapped with electricity--to see if electric stimulation (transcranial magnetic stimulation or TMS) can help improve symptoms of his autism. This is a fascinating journey of self-discovery and personal transformation by the author of Look Me In the Eye: My Life With Asperger's. 

Robinson volunteers to participate in an experimental study at the Berenson-Allen Center for Noninvasive Brain Stimulation at Boston's Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center run by Dr. Alvaro Pascual-Leone. TMS is currently used to treat depression and alleviate migraines but it has yet to be approved for autism patients. 

Robinson volunteered to participate in the study because he wanted to "fix" himself, as  he puts it, but it leads to a growing interest in autism research. This growing interest, as seen in the end of the book, even leads Robinson towards a new career.  

Science fiction writers explore electric stimulation in fiction. For example, Elizabeth Moon's The Speed of Dark has a fictional protagonist undergo a similar procedure. Daniel Keyes' Flowers for Algernon, that Robinson frequently refers to, examines the life changing consequences of brain stimulation on a fictional character. 

Robinson, however, is the first to write a true account of TMS experiments from the perspective of a person who is on the autism spectrum. 

As shown by his narrative, TMS seems to have the potential to improve a patient's emotional intelligence. One of the hallmarks of autism is the inability to correctly identify emotions in others or, often, in themselves. 

Robinson writes a true account of the pros and cons of the experiment. Some of the TMS sessions have no effect and some give him moving flashbacks and even hallucinations that elicit intense emotions.

Clearly, the pros and cons of this kind of research must be carefully weighed. On one hand, Robinson can finally perceive emotions. On the other hand, relationships with his friends and wife deteriorate.

Robinson is a unique case because though he suffers from emotional blindness he is also a highly intelligent self-taught sound engineer, photographer, mechanic and writer. His disabilities are offset by his unique gifts which have allowed him to succeed in many different occupations.

Though the book may serve to give many parents and relatives hope for new forms of autism treatment, some of the experiences Robinson describes may be unique to his own case. Even so, TMS has enormous potential and warrants further research.