How to Work with Complicated People

 

                                                            Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

We’ve all had that narcissistic boss who plays favorites, who sends passive aggressive emails, or who forbids anyone from taking time off. We’ve all had that nosy, antagonistic, or lazy co-worker who relieves us late and does not even have an excuse. We’ve all been there; or, otherwise, movies like Office Space and shows like The Office would not resonate the way it does.

Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and Working with Difficult People by Amy Cooper Hakim are two of many books on workplace conflict resolutions. A relatively new book addresses the topic from a fresh perspective.

How to Work with Complicated People by Ryan Leak changes the “difficult” to “complicated.” Leak, an executive coach and transformational speaker, concedes that complicated people in workplaces result in business losses. Complicated people can result in “lower morale, eroded unity and trust, lower job satisfaction.”

In spite of this, Leak does not advise trying to change or reform complicated people. Instead, he argues there are certain techniques that will allow us to deal with such people effectively. Learning how to deal with complicated people can lead to great self-awareness, and, in that way, it is a gift.

He admits that he is himself a “complicated” person and that most of us are too. He writes we are all “weird, odd, irritating or baffling to someone else.”

Avoiding complicated or problematic people rarely ends well. Changing them or trying to cancel them also does not work in our favor. So that leaves only one option left — understanding them.

Though no one should tolerate a toxic situation, Leak insists that improving strained relationships will make everyone like their job more. Complicated people also serve a purpose — they bring a unique perspective.

No one has to accept workplace abuse, yet they should make generous assumptions about their coworkers and bosses. That irritating colleague who is late may actually have a valid reason for their tardiness.

Those who seem off-putting due to their differences can actually bring value. Diverse viewpoints add value because the last we need is “groupthink” or forced consensus. He urges employees to bring healthy collaboration to the table. Having a collaborative mind will help build bridges rather than silos.

The best chapter is the last one. If all techniques fail, he urges forgiveness rather than bitterness. Even if its justified, bitterness should have an “expiration date” because ultimately hostile feelings keep us prisoner to our emotions.

The White Stag in Literature

 

                                                Photo by Valeriia Miller on Unsplash

The white stag, in Celtic mythology, symbolizes mystery and a spiritual quest. In Celtic tales, the white stag leads visitors to Annwn, the Welsh Otherworld, a fairy land where no one gets hurt or dies.

According to Jones’s Celtic Cyclopedia, the white stag is also a component of Hungarian mythology, French lais, and even Christian iconography[1]. Hildegard of Bingen depicts Christ as a red stag[2]. In later Christian iconography, Christ is depicted as a white unicorn, which more directly reflects the Celtic white stag.

The white stag of Celtic mythology is known for its elusiveness and its regenerative powers. The stag can be chased but never caught. The Celts believed that worlds can exist simultaneously, and that certain animals, namely the white stag, can pass between worlds.

The white stag, who can move freely between worlds, acts as a guide during the hero’s transformative journey[3]. In Arthurian tales, the Mabinogian, and the legend Fionn mac Cumhaill, the stag leads the hero to an Otherworld. The hero’s courage is tested as he follows this mythical creature into the forest.

In the last chapter of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Lewis appropriates the white stag symbol. Instead of going towards a supernatural realm, however, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, are leaving one behind. They are crossing from a magical world back into the ordinary world.  

Unlike other animals, a stag’s antlers reappear every season; and, thus, they are representative of spiritual renewal. In Lewis' The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the stag is not just a liminal beast that can move between the seen and unseen world. In Lewis' novel the stag represents a spiritual transformation that the children have undergone.

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[1] https://www.maryjones.us/jce/jce_index.html

[2] Men and Christ as Stags according to Hildegard of Bingen - Daily Meditations with Matthew Fox

[3] https://thelivinglore.com/the-white-stag-symbolism-and-myths-in-celtic-lore/

More Writing Opportunities

 No fee. No Deadlines.

 

The Headlight Review. 

https://www.headlightreview.com

  

Kelp Crime. If you write crime fiction, this one's for you. They are seeking previously unpublished micro, flash, and short fiction in the crime, thriller, detective, and noir genres. Prefers conservationist, oceanic, and social justice themes. 

https://www.kelpjournal.com/copy-of-about

Neon Origami. Decision within two weeks. 

https://neonorigami.co/

 

 

  

Filling in the Blanks

Almost every family has them--dark secrets that no one talks about because they might alter the family status quo. Novelists often base novel on the dramatic uncovering of a family's secrets to great success. The novels below all feature a "secret" while also exploring social issues e.g., racial identity, the pressures of parental expectations, psychological manipulation, and generational trauma. 

Brit Bennet. Vanishing Half. 

Celeste Ng. Everything I Never Told You. 

Lisa Jewel. The Family Upstairs.

Kim Edwards. Memory Keeper's Daughter. 

Min Jin Lee. Pachinko.

Non-fictional memoirs that hinge on dark secrets are equally mesmerizing.  

Dorothy Allred Solomon. Daughter of the Saints. 

Anna LeBaron. Polygamist's Daughter. 

Dani Shapiro's gripping memoir, Inheritance, details the repercussions of taking a simple DNA test. 

Anyone interested in family secrets should watch John Baime's notable documentary, Filling in the Blanks.

Rowlett Public Library Promotes the Arts

Rowlett Public Library promotes the arts with this writing contest every year.

https://www.rowletttx.gov/DocumentCenter/View/33117/2026-Writing-Contest-Entry-Form-Fillable

Design for Jewellery Makers by Seijen ten Hoorn

 

                                               Search Press, June 2023, 208 pg. ISBN 9781800920057

Award-winning jewelry designer Seijen ten Hoorn’s book is a visual feast that will likely appeal to all creatives. The author has a master’s degree in jewelry and metalwork, and she generously shares her training. The book’s helpful index directs readers to a massive number of topics—sketching, model making, mold making, saw piercing, surface finishing, press forming, and more—for all kinds of jewelry. Readers are treated to a taste of each topic. There are also lists of resources that creatives can explore in greater depth. In addition to rings, pendants, brooches, cuffs, bracelets, and necklaces, there are explanations and descriptions of many contemporary earring styles (e.g., ear climbers and huggies) that a youthful crowd will likely appreciate. Throughout the book, there are valuable tips designed to generate ideas. The author encourages artists to arrange, tinker, and play with materials by using mood boards, sketchbooks, and inexpensive models. Design for Jewellery Makers is a comprehensive overview of jewelry design that also offers creative exercises for aspiring artists.

Review of The Code Breaker by Walter Isaacson

Walter Isaacson, who frequently writes about male scientists and business leaders, devotes an entire biography to female scientist and Nobel prize winner, Jennifer Doudna.  Though Isaacson has often written about great men, e.g., Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, and Steve Jobs, he dramatically changes course in 2021. 

With the publication of Code Breaker, Isaacson focuses, for the first time, on a female innovator and businesswoman, Jennifer Doudna, the co-winner of the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 2020.

Isaacson's portrait of Doudna, who co-created CRISPR is balanced and nuanced. Isaacson describes the career difficulties she faced, her competitive drive, and judiciously considers the claims of her detractors. 

According to Isaacson, there have been three revolutionary discoveries--the discovery of the atom, the bit, and the gene--that were watershed discoveries. 

The discovery of the atom in the beginning of the twentieth century led to many inventions, including the atomic bomb. The digital age ensued from the discovery that a "bit" that could encode information. Lastly, the discovery of the gene led to the knowledge of the genetic code. 

Isaacson captures details about her early life that prefigures her future success. He explains that Doudna became inspired to study science not only because she explored Hawaii's wildlife but also because of a seminal work, The Double Helix by Francis Crick. Doudna's father left the book on his daughter's bed when she was a pre-teen because he knew it would fascinate her. 

Ignoring a school counselor's misgivings, Doudna majored in chemistry at Pomona College. From there, Isaacson takes readers on Doudna's intellectual journey--her early successes and triumphs--while also revealing her competitive spirit. 

Doudna's first husband did not share her drive and that ultimately led to their breakup. Her second husband shared her enthusiasm for RNA--a molecule that would become her primary focus. While other scientists were content to read the genetic code, Doudna wanted to edit it using RNA. 

To be fair, Isaacson has long recognized the accomplishments of women. His book, The Innovators, for instance, warmly commends Ava Lovelace and Grace Hopper. Code Breaker is, however, the first time Isaacson focuses exclusively on a female innovator.   

The Gift of Animals by Alison Hawthorne Deming

 

Alison Hawthorne Deming (Science and Other Poems) has compiled a collection of 90 poems that rings alarm bells, reminding readers that the world is losing animals and their gifts at a horrifying rate. The poems are written by a wide range of contributors—some well-known, some relatively new. Some writers based their work on oral traditions. 

 

With topics that range from praise to the future of animals to companionship, the poets consider the grandeur of animal life, the grief of impending loss, and hope for future generations. 

 

Some of the animals that are in peril are seen as protectors; in “Tecolote,” Jose Hernandez Diaz expresses his thanks for owls, the “protector(s) of the moon and sky.” While, arguing against the idea that snakes are sinister and sly, Denise Levertov writes, “Come into animal presence. / No man is so guileless as / the serpent.” 

 

In nature, there are no hard lines, and Nickole Brown’s “A Prayer To Talk to Animals” sums this up beautifully, “Am I not an animal / too?” 

 

A thought-provoking collection of poetic gems that will inspire and remind readers of the importance of connecting with the natural world.

Jane's Jam: Inspiration to Create Your Super Awesome Life by Jane Enright

 

Jane's Jam is a blueprint to navigate personal and professional setbacks, something we all need during these turbulent times. The author’s first book, Butter Side Up, explored hardships Enright faced during her worst year, but her latest focuses on the framework she developed to bounce back from her struggles. 

She calls her approach, the OMG playbook, which encourages “outside in” thinking and taking steps to practice mindfulness and gratitude. She believes difficulties, when viewed through the right lens, can become opportunities. 

 

Enright explains this process in 12 chapters and a summary. The “Go Routes” are activities she provides to make this easy to incorporate into daily living. She also includes 52 inspirational quotes from her previous book and additional resources, and she references motivational writers and studies that back her claims. 

 

Numerous examples of sports figures, such as Terry Fox and others who have transformed their lives, are an inspiring read. Some may even want to become head coach of their own lives using Enright’s strategy.

Best Books of 2025

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Choi, Susan. Flashlight. A novel about family crises and family secrets. The novel is fuller rendition of her 2020 story, "Flashlight."

Desai, Kiran. Sonia and Sunny.  

Kitamura, Katie. Audition.  

Markovits, Benjamin. The Rest of Our Lives. 

Miller, Andrew. The Land in Winter.  

Szalay, David. Flesh.  

The Beginner's Guide to Decorating Pottery: An Introduction to Glazes, Patterns, Inlay, Luster, and Dimensional Designs by Emily Reinhardt

 Ceramic artist and designer Reinhardt offers the third book (after Sunshine Cobb’s The Beginner’s Guide to Hand Building) in the “Essential Ceramic Skills” series. Reinhardt’s title is a great introduction to surface decoration; it focuses on the most appealing aspect of pottery making—the patterns and glazes. The book gives useful tips for safety and how to position pieces in the kiln. She also warns crafters to test underglazes. The book encourages experimentation and describes how it led to the author’s signature gold luster and the decision to make functional objects as well as art pieces. The author provides instructions for creating tableware, coasters, ceramic beads, and vases. For the tableware and spoons, there are explanations about how to use nontoxic, food-safe glazes. In the “Gallery” sections, the book spotlights the creative work of other ceramicists. There’s also an extensive list of supplies, tools, and publications, plus recommendations for books, workshops, residencies, and podcasts.

Functional and beautiful, this book will likely inspire readers want to perfect their pottery techniques. An excellent and useful purchase for libraries with vibrant art communities.

One Step Sideways, Three Steps Forward by Dr. Rosemary Grant

 

Research scholar emerita, B. Rosemary Grant recounts her amazing accomplishments with humility and humor in this delightful memoir. Growing up in the Lakes District in England, Grant was surrounded by wildlife. Since her village, Arnside, was near a tidal bore, she quickly learned to read the tides. She learned to love science because, as she puts it, she was surrounded by science. Like many women pursuing a career in the sciences, however, she faced numerous obstacles; hence, the “one step sideways” in the title. Even her forward-thinking father believed that a university career and a family were mutually exclusive. Fortunately, Rosemary met Peter Grant while teaching embryology in Canada. The two would fall in love, go on to marry, and forge a rare partnership that would greatly profit the field of evolutionary biology.  Though she had to forestall her Ph.D.  project while Peter actively pursued his, Rosemary later earned her Ph.D. from University of Uppsala. Combining research with family life, Rosemary produced a landmark study of rapid evolution in the Galapagos that germinated from forty years of research. 

Don’t miss this incredible story of an evolutionary scientist who combined her love for science with love and devotion to her family, the environment, and many social causes.  

This is Salvaged by Vauhini Vara

 

In ten stories, Vara describes the gamut of human predicaments and their corresponding emotional states: grief, isolation, obsession, shame, courage, and rage. 

Each story exists in isolation, but numerous stories mirror each other. Grief in response to losing a sister is apparent in “Hormone Hypothesis” and in “Eighteen Girls.” The unnamed character in “Hormone Hypothesis,” who is unconsciously looking for a sister figure, finds Fernanda. Though this stay-at-home mother is the narrator’s opposite, the two bond and find strength in their shared grief. 

A complementary story, “Eighteen Girls,” features two sisters, one of whom is slowly dying of cancer. The “eighteen girls” of the title are the same girl—the healthy girl reacting to her sister’s forceful personality. 

“The Irates” and “I, Buffalo” deal self-hatred and shame.  In “The Irates” a teen finds the world irretrievably altered after her much-loved brother dies. She works a job she detests—telemarketing—and becomes a person she hates—an “irate.”  Sheila, the main character of “I, Buffalo” has lost her high-stakes job after an embarrassing incident. Vara brilliantly describes emotional states, especially isolation.  

In “This is Salvaged,” a man has the lonely experience of trying to build a replica of Noah’s ark and in “Sibyls” a woman with a movie star’s name dies unnoticed. 

This is Salvaged is a compelling short story collection that visits aspects of the human condition with humor and nuance.